Expectations, Reality & Learning to be Thankful

I have a vivid imagination, I've had it my whole life. It makes for great entertainment as a child but when you become an adult imagination has a bad habit of raising expectations to unrealistic heights, making reality a bit of a let down. This habit, which ultimately causes me to take for granted what I have, is one I have really been working on eliminating since I became aware of it's ugly presence. I am not sorry I have an imagination, nor do I want to squelch it but I want to be appreciative of what I have, the memories I make, rather than be disappointed it wasn’t all I imagined it would be. Saturday was a great opportunity to "put my money where my mouth is" in my new efforts to change my thought patterns.....

     I love fall, love love love it. This year I became aware of a local u-pick farm's intent to put on a festival, the flier boasted "hay rides, wagon rides, children's games, zip line, petting zoo, live music and more" and promised a "wholesome family fun on the farm!" . Needless to say I was EX-CI-TED! Immediately my imagination ran wild with storybook pictures of a lovely fall day, hay and leaves strewn about, hot apple cider, picking vegetables with smiling children, etc.. etc.. you can imagine (or maybe you can't, I'm a bit over the top most of the time lol) all the picturesque things I had in mind. I marked the date, weeks in advance, and looked forward to our perfect fall day. 

     When the day arrived, I excitedly packed snacks, enough clothes to keep us warm in any fall weather and loaded my husband and kids into the car. We made our way out to Palmer, about 45 mins by the time we arrived, and found the farm tucked up against the mountains. Already my picturesque ideas were faltering...the line of people waiting to enter was LONG, David gave me with a "you know I am not a fan of loads of people crammed into small spaces" look but (thankfully) pulled into park and get in line with the rest of them. I'll be honest, just seeing the line made me want to turn around, but our kids were WAY too excited (they *might* take after their momma) and we were going, lines or no lines. 

     Without making this blog a novel, I'll sum up the situation for you. At least a thousand people, milling about a small area, lines miles long and no petting zoo anywhere to be seen. We didn't even attempt to pick any vegetables for fear of spending another hour in line (we waited nearly that long for our hayride). Old me would have lost it, disappointment ruining whatever the day may have held in it's not so perfect form, thankfully God has patiently been showing me that the old phrase "attitude is everything" really isn't bunk. I was determined to have a good time, and a good time we had, my husband too worked hard on having fun despite being inundated with people. I danced with the boys while waiting in line, took deep breaths of crisp fall air when annoyance tried to creep in and, despite spending much of the time standing around, had a joyful heart. I was thankful to have the day with my boys, thankful for the beauty I get to live in everyday, thankful for the sunshine, thankful that my shattered expectations were not going to get me down like they have so often in the past. It may not have been the perfect day I had imagined, not even close, but I cherished every minute anyway. It was a great lesson in how how thankful & joyful hearts make our reality worth every minute, even the tough stuff. As I tell my boys "a happy heart makes all the difference". 

 Here are a few snapshots from our day....

How could I not be thankful for these scrubby handsome guys?

Or this incredible beauty?

My Dreams

     I (very) recently watched Danny Silk (if you don't know who he is click here) speak about dreams and how important they are to living an abundant life. He talked about how "God made an investment in you (me), giving us talents and desires, and then invited you (me) into his strength". He told the story of the bags of gold (Matthew 25:14-30), if you are not familiar with the story I'll give you a quick synopsis. A master gives to three servants three separate sums of money before leaving on a trip, to the first he gives five bags of gold, to the second, two bags and to a third, one bag. When he returns, he calls his servants to him to see what they have done with the money he entrusted to them. The first and second servants invested their money and doubled what they were given. The third, in fear, buried his in the ground, returning to his master the one talent he was given. The master becomes angry with the servant and gives his bag of gold to the one made ten bags and throws him out. The point was that the servant who made double his master's investment dreamed big, whereas the one who made nothing had no dreams, fear caused him to hide his gift away, his only plan for his life was that of survival.

     When Danny first started speaking I (inside my head, thankfully:) began to panic, thinking that I didn't have any dreams. Was I living a life less abundant? Was I playing it safe? Were my plans for this life simply to survive? The truth is, prior to a year ago that is exactly where I have been. Life has a way of getting us down if we are not on the watch and I had allowed circumstances to cloud my vision, hide my dreams from me and kick my life a little into "safe & survival" mode.  As Danny said, "dreams require courage". Courage is something the third servant lacked, courage is something I have struggled with much of my life. 

    Thankfully, I serve a God who is bigger than my fears. A God, who with his endless patience and love, has begun to drive out those fears (1 John 4:17-18). Courage has begun to well up within me and I, every so slowly it feels at times, have begun to step out more.  After my moment of panic, many dreams came flooding back into my memory. God  has given me desires, passions and talents make me uniquely suited to live the life he has for me, a life of abundance and joy. Here are a few of the dreams that came to mind, I thought I would share them with you.

1. To learn to play piano

2. To sing again, in some capacity for the Lord

3. To go on the mission field

          *with my husband

          *with my family

4. To teach about creation and evolution (a biologist's view of why the theory isn't so hard packed & how many who believe have misconceptions of God that they feel "support" their ideas) to young people

5. To write, a book...something

6. To go to Ireland and Africa (I would actually love to travel to many places but these are the two I have dreamed of since I was a girl)

7. To climb a mountain

8. To see Alaska radically transformed by supernatural grace

9. To climb a mountain

10. To float (in a boat of course) among a pod of whales and watch them leap out of the water

11. To pray for someone and see them healed

12. To travel all up and down the east coast of the US with my family

These are a few that came to mind immediately, some are God-related, some are not so much. All are desires of my heart, I intend to spend time in prayer and searching my heart for more, then to write them down. Sometimes, as a stay at home mom with young kids, it is easy to lost sight of those dreams we held as young women. It's ok, and I am perfectly content, that these are not all dreams that will happen right away. This season of my life is nearly entirely focused on my family and I love that I am able to do that. I simply want to remember my dreams, because I know that the next phase of life may see some come true, and maybe a few more in the phase after that. I intend to position myself in life to be ready, whatever God's timing, to see them come true, because he wants to see my dreams come true. He loves us that much, he's a good father :).

What are some dreams you have?