I'm a dreamer, always have been. I suspect it is, in part, due to my Native American ancestry as many in my family (on my mom's side) are. Whatever the reason, I have been one for as long as I can remember. It has been both a blessing and a curse at different times in my life, my vivid imagination can make all dreams, happy, sad, terrifying, joyous, routine, etc... seem very real. My dreams have caused me to wake up laughing, crying, scared, completely convinced events or conversations have taken place that never did. Knowing this about myself (and now mature enough to care), I steer clear of horror movies, graphically violent ones, sexual ones, etc... Anything I don't want in my head, waking or sleeping, I generally try to avoid. It doesn't prevent the bad dreams from coming (I had some whopping scary ones as a child, when I was very sheltered from scary images by my folks), but it does help to keep their numbers down.
My very least favorite dreams are the ones I have just before waking, at least when they are bad dreams (sad, scary, etc... all are bad in my book) because I wake up feeling the weight of the emotions heavy on me. This morning was one of those mornings. I have not been watching anything "bad", but I have recently read books containing facts about some of the terrible things humans have done to one another; the Holocaust, the slave trade and the Khmer Rouge reign in Cambodia. I also just finished watching a mini-series about the infamous Hatfields & McCoys, two families that tried their best to wipe each other out in Kentucky/West Virginia in the 1800s. All of the atrocities talked about in any of the above books/tv shows were real, all committed by people so wrapped up in fear, anger, bitterness, power, hatred, etc... they simply went about destroying lives for reasons many of them probably couldn't name. My dream this morning I am sure was related to these stories that have broken my heart the past few months, and I woke feeling just that; heartbroken, heart sick, saddened but what people can do to one another... not a cheery first thought.
Today I did what I always do waking in this manner, I prayed asking the Lord to help me shake the feeling of sadness and heaviness. Then I grabbed my phone, opened my Bible app and just spun the chapter/verse finder until it stopped and hit enter. It stopped on Philipians 4, and so I read. There were several verses that spoke to me during that particular moment, the first is verse 4: "Always be full of joy in the Lord! I say it again- rejoice!". Sounds totally undoable when you wake up feeling weighted but the answer to the question of how to do it comes shortly after... v.5: "Do not worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.". It's not a bad thing to have your heart broken, in fact, I think our hearts should be breakable. If we don't break for humanity, who will spread Christ's love to them? If we come to a place of hardness, feeling no compassion, we will no longer feel the need to share the love of God to people we encounter. The key to protecting our own hearts comes from taking those things that hurt to the Lord, he alone can carry the weight of the world. We feel, we pray, we release it to God and we are thankful for the things that he has done. What comes next follows in v.6 "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus". Peace that transcends understanding, meaning it goes against anything you would deem "normal". People will not be able to comprehend how you can feel such hurt, sorrow, etc.. and yet you are not taken down by it. Peace in the storm, peace in the struggle, that's what Christ promises, all we have to do is trust him.
Finally, verse 8 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your eyes thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy". This verse, in context to my morning, spoke to me in this way... Yes there is sadness, hatred and murder in this world. Yes, people are capable of doing terrible things, committing atrocious acts against one another. Yes, I should pray, my heart should break over these things but, I am not to spend my life focusing on them, instead I should set my eyes toward heaven; toward love, truth, hope, joy & peace. How do I live a joyous life, in the midst of a fallen world? Seek the Lord, lay bare my burdens before him, thank him for the blessings in my life big and small, focus on the things that are good, holy, pure... and his peace will flood my heart, his joy will lighten my steps, just as they did this morning.
Know you are loved my friends. Open your heart, lift your eyes to heaven and dream a little... there is more to life than struggle, so so much more
No comments:
Post a Comment