Not lazy, just needing "proper motivation"...

The last 6 months or so living in the shop have been tough. Since Joshua hit 18 months I have had two little kiddos getting into, getting things out, spilling, crushing (as in goldfish/crackers, Josh's favorite thing), essentially wreaking havoc, on my house. Our current living situation severely lacks any place to "put things away" and as a result nothing is safe, or ever really totally cleaned up. I am a SAHM, so my two major "jobs" are to keep my kids happy/healthy and to keep my house (and all that implies; laundry, dishes, dinner, etc..). Lately the second half of that equation has been lacking, to be honest I have just gotten tired of the never ending list of things that could be done. Some of you may say this is the life of a SAHM (or any mom) but I have lived in "regular" houses (with a kid) and it was never like this. At the very least things would stay clean (mostly anyway) for more than one hour, here, not so much. This struggle has led me to believe that perhaps I am lazy, that I am just not good at what I do. It has been hard on my self esteem in a lot of ways, maybe that sounds silly but if I am no good at 1/2 of my "job" it's easy to deceive yourself into thinking you aren't good at any of your "jobs".

The house nearing completion has opened my eyes to the lie I have been telling myself. I have worked day in and day out preparing for this move. I have done laundry, packed boxes, cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. Today, aside from an hour of down time while Josh naps, I have been moving since waking up. In the last two days I have filled my truck full of construction debris & been to the dump twice. The outside of my house is now nearly free of the junk that had been thrown out over the winter and then buried by snow. Somehow I have even managed to take a few minutes for myself, plenty of time for my kids & made dinner! Turns out I am not lazy, I've just been lacking proper motivation when it comes to house work. I know that laundry, dishes, mopping, vacuuming, etc... will never go away. I am sure I will have times in the future when I wane in my cleaning/upkeep but I have a feeling most of those times will be because there were better things for me to do (you know, like playing with my kids, snuggling with my husband, laughing with friends & family), rather than because I simply exhausted of the crazy pattern.

I guess I share this to say that sometimes it is easy to deceive ourselves into believing we are less then what we truly are. Sometimes we get frustrated and down, forgetting that it's just a passing phase of life, not a definition of who we are. Everyone has moments, everyone slacks from time to time. Learn to recognize these moments, take them for what they are and move past them. Don't beat yourself up over it all, housework certainly will not go anywhere. The harder I was on myself, the less motivated I became. The truth is I do a pretty good job, maybe my house will never be on the cover of Good Housekeeping heading an article about spotless living, but that's ok. There are many more important things in life anyway...

Shifting Sand

I am a stay at home mom (SAHM from here out:). This means my "job description" includes (but is not limited to) the following; cooking, cleaning (all varieties of), laundry, entertainer, teacher, comforter, discipliner (is that even a word?), referee, listener, handyman er..woman & problem solver. Today I am only going to talk about 1/3 of my job, the part where I should maintain a reasonably kept household. I wonder if I am the only one, though I doubt it, that feels this part of my job is like trying to dig a hole in sand...with the tide coming in! I swear I can clean an area spotless, turn around to start somewhere else & when I return to the original location it is unrecognizably a mess again. Take my kitchen table for example...
24 hours ago it was SPOTLESS, today...well I am not even sure what all is on it to be honest (is that deodorant I see?). We haven't even been home half the day! Where did it all come from?

Now, I suppose before I go on I should explain to those who may not know that we are currently living in 1000 sq feet of garage while building our home- this means no closets, real doors (except on the bathroom of course), & not much cabinets to speak of. This exacerbates any clutter situation ten fold but living in a regular home will not change this "problem" as much as I would like to pretend it will.

Alright, moving on. There is also that one spot in every house where things just accumulate unnoticed until they start falling all over the place, at least there has always been a spot like this in my house. For us it is an unused desk that is just sitting there...beckoning all the "without a home" objects we bring in...

It seems no matter what I do, this particular location always has something piled on. You guys have a place like that...right? Needless to say, our new home will be FULL of closets where, at the very least, this stuff can pile up HIDDEN.

Ok, maybe I have a clutter issue. My house is never gross & dirty, I'd like to make that part clear but it is never without a pile of something...somewhere; toys, books, miscellaneous papers, etc.. Most of all- LAUNDRY. I swear our clothes multiply when you throw water on them!! I wash, wash, wash, dry, dry, dry & there is always more to do. Of course, it would help if I did not wait until the clean laundry was piled higher than McKinley before putting it away. Again, I am not alone in this, I hope. There is nearly always a hamper or two like this...

lurking somewhere in my home. They taunt me with their unsorted socks, unfolded rags & random items that have avoided placement for a month or two. I confess, laundry is my very least favorite chore as a SAHM & as such gets neglected the most. I have honestly been trying to do better with it but it seems even one or two days "off" set me back a week.

So there you have it, I am a clutter bug- I think it's my biggest weakness as a SAHM. Apparently I just don't like digging holes in sand, it is such a thankless task- much like cleaning. No one seems to notice this area of my job, unless my hubby is down to his last pair of underwear, which sometimes makes motivation to keep up hard to find. I am working on it though, it just seems to take a major "brain shift" that sometimes sends me into overload. That all being said, it's time for me to log off & go shift some more sand around....