Somedays you just gotta laugh...

Yesterday was a day gone haywire, it wasn't a terrible day (well most of it wasn't), just one of those days where literally nothing went according to plan- NOTHING. We've all had those days and today I thought I would share mine, partly to get perspective, partly to make you laugh. I suppose my first error was to plan my day, because come on, that's just asking for something to go wrong...isn't there a physic's law about that? Anyway, "the plan" was to meet a friend at a local kids play gym to let the kids burn off energy and enjoy some grown-up chat time. Next it was off to my mom's to leave the kids and head to the pool for my swimming workout. Afterward mom was going to keep the kids a bit longer for me so I could do some much needed pant's shopping, lastly we would head home to a nice evening with tuckered out kids & a rejuvenated (& saggy pant-less) mom....right...

The day started out ok, got the kiddos out of the house and was on the road when my friend called, for some reason the play gym wasn't open when it was supposed to be- plan change 1. So we quickly made a back up plan of Target shopping and McDonalds, we still had a nice time (cause she's just fun:) but it wasn't the "let the kids run amuck & just chill out visiting" time we had planned. The kids were not so happy to be baby shower shopping in Target, rather than running amuck, and once we said "Happy Meal" that was all they wanted. Not so bad, you say, why is she whining? It gets better, I promise...

Next was off to the swimming pool. I go twice a week to train for a triathlon I am attempting next month. Swimming is my weakest link by far (envision a fish out of water- that's what I look like in the water) and I don't love going. I had been trying to talk myself out of it for 24 hours but finally forced myself to go, got into the locker room and started getting ready only to discover I had not brought my swimsuit- no I am not kidding. Frustrated I re-packed my stuff and wandered out to ask the lifeguard to initial my punch card so I didn't just pay to check out the locker room. When I told her why I was leaving 5 secs after she'd let me in she offered me her swimsuit- plan change 2. Now, before you all get totally grossed out, I REALLY needed to get my workout in, she was clean, it was clean and I was about to take a dip in a giant pool of bleach :). I was very grateful for the suit, although it was a bit big and every time I climbed out of the pool, I walked around looking like I had pooped myself. Oh well, I got my workout in, right?

After my swim I went to look for some pants. I have recently been loosing weight and working out hard, my wardrobe is starting to reflect this. I really needed some new workout pants because running with your pants falling down around your bootie is no fun, no fun at all. Unfortunately, right after getting into the dressing room my mom called, she was not feeling well and really needed a nap- plan change 3. I should add right here that she was apparently not feeling well when I dropped them off but didn't say anything so I would go work out and I really appreciate it. So I grabbed the vacuum cleaner filters I needed and ran to get my boys. After picking up my niece and dropping her with her mom, the boys and I went home. I was pretty tired by this point, as were my kiddos, and should have known my nice evening was not likely to happen but I was too tired to notice.

I got home only to realize I had grabbed the wrong filters for my vacuum and the socks I purchased for my oldest (who desperately needed them) were too big. Then the phone rings, my husband has called to ask me to look up something about the property we are building on. When I tell him I cannot find it, he seems overly irritated. Upon further questioning he tells me that there is a problem getting the mortgage to pay off the construction loan on our house. I'll spare you the details but ultimately we are going to have to jump through a hoop or two to get the loan, a headache we did not foresee this late in the game. Unfortunately when my husband first mentioned this to me he didn't have time to discuss our options and I spent the next hour crying and stressed out that someone was going to take our house because we owed money. Later, after much hysteria, he came home and informed me we had options and are not going to loose the house.

Before he got home, however, my 4 year old decided to have an all out fit over his egg & toast because the egg "looked funny". By this point I was done, emotionally at the end of my rope and hanging on by a fingernail. When he started to scream, clawing at his face (no joke) as if I had just fed him live spiders while my two year old laughed hysterically at him, I lost it....not lost it (as in my marbles) but just started laughing. It was beyond ridiculous, his fit, the entire day and I could do nothing else but laugh. I mean come on, admit it, you're laughing too. I sent Isaiah to his room and after a few more minutes of mass hysteria he calmed down and finished his dinner (ugly egg & all). Later we had some fun playing "raspberry" games on my battle worn stomach, laughing uncontrollable as Joshua would say "watch this daddy" and Isaiah crammed his head hard into my stomach then squished it up around his face (this optimizes sound). I'd like to say this happy moment was the end of the evening but it wasn't. A emotional conversation about whether or not we should have one more kid ended the evening and I went to bad sad and frustrated.

This morning, however, brought fresh perspective. Everyone has bad days, days where nothing goes as planned, kids get tired and throw fits, swimsuits get left at home. :) You just have to roll with it, life is messy at best most days and if you can't just laugh about it (now or later) you'll never make it through intact. Just listing the events of my yesterday have had me laughing, one of those "are you kidding me?" kind of laughs. The truth is, a bad day for me would be a really great one for many people. I don't mean that to sound egotistical, just that there are a lot of people out there who have much, much less than I do or much, much more things to worry about. As for the house situation and the "great baby debate", the most I can do is sit back and give it up to the One who can "fix it". He knows my heart for a baby, He knows David's heart too. He knows the work we've put into a home our children can grow up in and He alone can protect it. So today, while I am emotionally drained from yesterday, I have a smile on my face and laughter in my heart. No one said life would be easy and somedays you just gotta laugh...

Faith like a child...

"I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn't receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." Luke 18:17

A dear friend of mine very recently lost a grandparent. Listening to her talk about it brought to mind my own grandmother, who past away in 2004. Losing a grandparent is hard, especially if you have had the privilege of growing up knowing them. I was lucky to have a few grandparents around as a kid. My Grandma Bebe, my mom's mother, was probably the closest. She was always there, as a child, as a teen and as a young adult. When she passed away, the big gaping hole she left was felt by our family, church and many in the special needs community.

Let me tell you a little about my Grandma. She was born in Juneau long before Alaska reached statehood. Her childhood was not easy, to say the least, and ended at 15 when she married the only man she would ever love, my Grandpa Tom. She had 8 children, six of whom she raised on a homestead in Willow. Life was rough, home steading in Alaska was not easy on anyone; hauling water, chopping wood, etc... as well as freezing winters and muddy springs to cope with. They never had a lot of money and worked hard for what they did have. Her two youngest children came a long as a surprise in her late 30s, first Michael, then Crystle. By this point many of her older children had families of their own, in fact, my aunt was born one year after my oldest sister, almost to the day. When Crystle was only 6 years old, my Grandfather suffered a heart attack and passed away, leaving my Grandma to care for their two remaining children alone. She did her best to provide, eventually starting work at a bus barn as a bus aide for special needs children, a job she would keep for the next 20+ years.

Those are the facts about my Grandma, the framework of her life here on earth that helped to shape who she was. Who she was is more complicated then the sum of her life's events. Grandma was loud, a byproduct of having a half deaf father, but it was almost like her zeal for life could not be contained by "normal volumes". She loved to sing, loud and unabashed. She loved to watch strange shows/movies, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" being one of her favorites. Grandma ate weird foods, liked to chew on chicken bones and, despite being a diabetic, loved sweets. She could have a temper and be stubborn, but mostly was a sweet, fun, loving woman. She loved her family, loved her friends, her church, her job and the sweet kids she saw every morning on her bus routes.

The single most defining factor about my Grandma was her love of Jesus. Never in my life have I seen a more pure, innocent, adoring love then the love my Grandma had for the Saviour of her soul. This isn't to say that she didn't struggle at times, life dealt her many blows and Grandma was human after all. She just didn't complicate it like so many of us do, didn't question every aspect but simply accepted it like a child knows that her father loves her. One of my favorite stories about my Grandma is from my wedding in 2000. We held the wedding and reception in separate locations and somehow Grandma got lost in the transit. She went home to get her cordless (home) phone and then drove around with it in case we called her. I don't tell you this so you can laugh at her, though it is funny, but it is to demonstrate the childlike view my Grandma had of life. An innocence that never disappeared, despite years of hardship and sometimes heartache. It was this innocence, this childlike heart, that allowed her to have that sweet, pure love of God. Her "kids" (as she called them) from her bus routes likely shared this sweet innocence, allowing her to understand them in a way many people likely did not. It permeated her being, seeping out onto those of us privileged to be near her. I believe the light of Jesus could shine brightly through her because she didn't muddle it down with too much humanity. These are things that I remember the most about my Grandma, the things that still bring tears to my eyes even as I write them. She was one of a kind, even her unique name, Bebe, means baby, as if God whispered in the ear of her mother and named her Himself.

Bebe & Thomas Graham